Stupid Labels

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
 
On a childs superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy !)

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Geeez,but that'z the only time I have to work on my hair !)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(The shoplifter special ???)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(...and that iz how ?!?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it'z *just* a suggestion !!!)

On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.
(Jus one ? )

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:(printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down.
(Too late...You lose !!!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are they sure ???)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But that would save time & ummm whose body ?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
( Yea... keep sick 5 year oldz home from work & off the streetz !?!?!)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope !)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children.
(Or petz !  What'z for dinner ???)

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space... or underground ???)

On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Ok... now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(Sheeesh... this one speakz for itself !)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Oh PUHHHLEEEZE !!!)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
(Wtf ???)
(<<Sam Kinison impression>> o o ooOOOOOOOOH !!!!!)

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