Red Skelton Recipe - Priceless

For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this. For those of you not old enough you will see what you missed. Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great entertainer. A re-run of great 'one liner's' from the man who was known for his clean humor. I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more. . .

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays..

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas ..

3. I take my wife everywhere,
but she keeps finding her way back..

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen..

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops...

6. She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place
to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair..

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was She told me, "In the lake."..

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days..
Then the mud fell off..

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late
for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"..

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce..

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was 'Always'..

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her..

13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"..

Can't you just hear him say all of these?

I love it........these were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun.
And he always ended his programs with the words...

"God Bless"

by - Red Skelton

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